External Carotid Artery
Hold the carotid.
We’re grasping at elation.
Tighter. Just tighter.
Lark’s Head
Lover’s observance:
Slowly pulling at grasses.
Hear the singing lark.
Underwood
Additional “acquisition” from the weekend. This is alyska’s grandmother’s typewriter. It spend the last few decades in a basement without the best moisture control.
I cleaned it up this morning with alcohol and soap and a tooth brush. The black paint is chipped and the metal rusted in places. The bell rings clear and the carriage advances when you connect the belt. Some of the key faces are cloudy and yellowed and the hammers stick a little bit. They all depress with a satisfying cluck.
It has character and personal history which makes it the best kind of relic.
shuk
My fascination with typewriters stared young. My mother, wanting to encourage the creative writing I was already doing, retreived a typewriter from her mother’s basement. I remember it feeling enormous when she handed it to me. I could barely lift it.
I don’t remember much otherwise. It was in a powder blue suitcase with beige keys and metal casing. It made a delightful shuk shuk shuk sound. The keys slotted back in place easily. It was the first time I was satisfied with putting ink on paper. It wasn’t handwriting but it was still tactile and pleasant to feel and legible.
It didn’t write much with it though. I never get the hang of writing first then editing afterward with a pen. I was a perfectionist child and didn’t understand the creative process. Clearly the great poets of the world would simple dash our perfect couplet after perfect couplet.
If I couldn’t do the same, I wasn’t doing it right. And it’s why I couldn’t bring myself to write on the typewriter.
I feared the misplaced letter and avoided that fear on the computer. I taught myself to stare at a blank page and write and rewrite a phrase in my head until it was perfect them put it on the page. With a computer, I could fix the typos, the regular transpositions I create from typing one-handed. No one could see them. No one could see that I wasn’t spectacular.
Automatic Fire Prevention Service
Morning writing desk.
Automatic Coffee Pot Fire Prevention Service.
It’s 7:30. I woke to the chimes of a grandfather clock and brewing coffee. Well, I first woke to my alarm exploding off the night stand but, continuing my lazy streak (and for fear of no coffee) fell back asleep for two more hours.
Now, confident that I’ll at least have caffein, I’m up still before the rest of the house. I figure Alyska’s father would be up first. It always feel weird to be up before the house when visiting others. With my routine (if the streak of laze can be called that now) it is pretty much ensured that I am moving before all others.
This only appears problematic when the need for coffee devour ones soul. Do I risk the electric malice of an unfamiliar coffee pot where I will likely burn something - myself, the cat, the curtains - or am I doomed to sit, morose to time cruising by, awaiting rescue from those who still sleep. Those who know which button won’t punish me?
Over dramatic. Everyone understands the need for coffee. One can sate one’s addiction nearly without consequence as long as one don’t burn the house down.
The family here knows what’s up. An automated coffee maker is really a fire and sleep insurance plan. And it further breeds good will as, now that the last drips or dripping and I in the kitchen pretending the journal entry is a treatise on coffee automation as good hospitality when actually it is an addiction-fueled, narcissistic romp through my morning journaling, am going to get up and find the coffee mugs.
A proper coffee addict puts them in the cabinet directly above the maker. And who isn’t a proper addict?
Think Murder
Can someone ask Natalie Dormer to do the Charlize Theron “acting like a queen” demonstration?
On Paper
I hit a wall with both my journaling and my writing recently that I’ve been chewing on how to break through.
Issues
- I really don’t like having my journal spread across so many things.
- I don’t go back and re-read my written journals.
I’ve become disillusioned with it (even though I’m still doing it).
Regarding #1 I currently use a number of things to track my daily life. Instagram. Twitter. Paper. Tumblr. Evernote (work). OneNote (work). It is (mostly) too much and I dislike that, in order to get a sense of my daily thoughts or assess the things that matter, I have to check all of these things.
The only thing I’ve been using consistently is Day One. I use it to compose blog entries or other correspondence I want to preserve. It’s a really well done application that I really enjoy using.
For a while, I’d been using some tools to dump most of those social things into Day One but it was fragile. It sort of worked for a few months but about 9 months ago died an unfixable death.
Regarding #2 It feels like a waste that I don’t review my [paper] journal. There is just something that infuriates me when I look at a wall of scrawl[1]. It’s just not going to happen in any useful capacity after the fact.
But: I love the act of writing. I ruminate. I muse. I mentally unwind more when writing by hand and I don’t want to lose that. It’s just ugly.
Just so ghastly to behold…
So… what am I going to do about it? I realized a few things this morning. First, this isn’t a problem with any digital format. I still re-read my LiveJournal. Second, and most importantly: I’ve solved this before. Around the same time I started writing, I retooled my work GTD system to ensure everything ends up in a single place. Having that one place in a tool that everyone at the company uses is satisfying and useful.
Furthermore, I had already incorporated a way to capture all the necessary notes for later reworking. And in that process had made peace with the blocks of scrawl. I take copious meeting notes now, by hand, and they all end up in my note repository a few days later. The key?
I don’t transcribe it. I summarize, highlight key concepts for inclusion in the digital version of that meeting’s notes and simply attach a photo of the written notes.
Why don’t i just do that? As is, I have a number of tools I enjoy using and, what’s best, a way to stick them all together in Day One via IFTTT and Hazel on my Mac.
So I will.
Each morning, I’ll still be journaling. When I’m done, I will take a picture of the entry pages and summarize the key points or ideas. Then IFTTT and Hazel will keep sticking all my social feeds into Day One and I have my entire life in one place in a format that I actually enjoy using and reviewing.
It seems so obvious now that I think it’ll stick.
[1]: My handwriting has vaguely improved in the last 5 months of writing but only marginally. Though, I noted this week after some brainstorming, my whiteboard writing is leaps and bounds better than it just to be.
On Paper
I hit a wall with both my journaling and my writing recently that I’ve been chewing on how to break through.
Issues
- I really don’t like having my journal spread across so many things.
- I don’t go back and re-read my written journals.
I’ve become disillusioned with it (even though I’m still doing it).
Regarding #1 I currently use a number of things to track my daily life. Instagram. Twitter. Paper. Tumblr. Evernote (work). OneNote (work). It is (mostly) too much and I dislike that, in order to get a sense of my daily thoughts or assess the things that matter, I have to check all of these things.
The only thing I’ve been using consistently is Day One. I use it to compose blog entries or other correspondence I want to preserve. It’s a really well done application that I really enjoy using.
For a while, I’d been using some tools to dump most of those social things into Day One but it was fragile. It sort of worked for a few months but about 9 months ago died an unfixable death.
Regarding #2 It feels like a waste that I don’t review my [paper] journal. There is just something that infuriates me when I look at a wall of scrawl[1]. It’s just not going to happen in any useful capacity after the fact.
But: I love the act of writing. I ruminate. I muse. I mentally unwind more when writing by hand and I don’t want to lose that. It’s just ugly.
Just so ghastly to behold…
So… what am I going to do about it? I realized a few things this morning. First, this isn’t a problem with any digital format. I still re-read my LiveJournal. Second, and most importantly: I’ve solved this before. Around the same time I started writing, I retooled my work GTD system to ensure everything ends up in a single place. Having that one place in a tool that everyone at the company uses is satisfying and useful.
Furthermore, I had already incorporated a way to capture all the necessary notes for later reworking. And in that process had made peace with the blocks of scrawl. I take copious meeting notes now, by hand, and they all end up in my note repository a few days later. The key?
I don’t transcribe it. I summarize, highlight key concepts for inclusion in the digital version of that meeting’s notes and simply attach a photo of the written notes.
Why don’t i just do that? As is, I have a number of tools I enjoy using and, what’s best, a way to stick them all together in Day One via IFTTT and Hazel on my Mac.
So I will.
Each morning, I’ll still be journaling. When I’m done, I will take a picture of the entry pages and summarize the key points or ideas. Then IFTTT and Hazel will keep sticking all my social feeds into Day One and I have my entire life in one place in a format that I actually enjoy using and reviewing.
It seems so obvious now that I think it’ll stick.
[1]: My handwriting has vaguely improved in the last 5 months of writing but only marginally. Though, I noted this week after some brainstorming, my whiteboard writing is leaps and bounds better than it just to be.
Smith Corona
[gallery]
I had some key sticking issues with a new typewriter acquisition. It was an easy fix and it is working just fine now! It now resides in the Doomsday entryway.
alyska and wrote a nice little haiku to accompany the flower and wabi sabi pottery in the arrangement.
The Virtue of Patience
[gallery]
I stood at the reflecting pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial for 30 minutes waiting. This is one of many but the only one I took with my iPhone.
Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K
Ropecast interview
Simple chest harness
graydancer interviewed me for an upcoming Ropecast. He asked about passion and I had some thoughts.
Bunny Rope unveils Art Shibari: Driven by the Storm
We at Bunny Rope are pleased to unveil the first of many to come Art Shibari pieces: Driven by the Storm. Art Shibari kits are created using interesting, ancient, or a blend of techniques of dying to produce exquisite and unique products.
These lengths were hand bound using the arashi shibori technique. Shibori, dating back to the 8th century, is a manner of resist-dying textiles where the material to be dyed is bound, twisted, sewn, compressed, or otherwise manipulated to create beautiful patterns in the resulting item.
It is characteristically soft and vibrant. It will look fantastic on you.
Only 2 kits available, $165 each.
Contact me to purchase both for $300
On Reflection
I just wrote the following in my journal:
”You can’t get anywhere new without
knowing where you you’ve been.”
I have been wondering lately what my intent is with my
journaling. I started it foremost because I enjoy the act
of writing as much as writing itself - the “act” here being
putting pen to paper. I love the scratch of the pen (though
that is a sign of a mediocre pen or paper) on paper. I love
getting ink on my fingers (though not on my nice, new table
which i also did this morning).
Is that my intent? Am I doing it, paper journaling,
for the sensory experience? Is that enough? Journaling
is intended as a way of capturing the past, of seeing the delta between Old You and Today You.
And i bristle at that, bristle at the idea of reading
about who I was. I have spent most of my life running from
who I was, trying to forget who I was for the better me of
Today. So when I think to reread all the things I’ve written,
I get a little sick.
All I see are the mistakes of the past and none of the growth that accompanies it. It is as if acknowledgXXXing
who I was is a failure in itself. This is despite noXlonger seeing myself as a failure; rather, I think the last
decade has beenX pretty spectacular for me.
Something about acknowledging who I was negates who
I am in my head. I dealt with years of psychological
abuse at the hands of my brothers who would bring up
things that had happened years ago in order to manip-
ulate me into doing things i didn’t want to do for fear
they woukd tell my parents (in retrospect, it was exceed-
ingly stupid stuff). Or my friends threatening to do
similar with my teachers.
I suffered immensely at the hand of my past. Re-reading
that is to relive it, invoke that shame and disgust. And
it is hard to get past that.
But.
But I recognize that these are the things that have
shaped me. They no longer define me. Yesterday is not
today and I am not things I feXlt or did in the past.
“There isn’t anything wrong with making mistakes or feeling shame or being immature. There is only failure in ignoring who you Were and what got you to Today.”
That was the final passage I wrote today and it is true:
Today is not Yesterday is not xTomorrow. Not looking back gives you an ill-informed
tomorrow.
Caring about blogging?
It has been about 3 months since I started hand writing my
journal. Since then I have more or less ignored my blogs
and websites. I feel like I should care a great deal more than
I actually do insofar as writing/blogging has been the only
way to keep people informed about my life. I don’t exactly go
out much - I am King Introvert, Ruler of the Kitchen Table.
I have been (XXmostly) enjoying writing by hand.
Mostly in that:2. The experience is tactile.
- Fountain pens are lovely to write with, as is nice ink
- It is more engaging than because of the above.
Problematically:1. I rarely write about more than how I’m feeling.
- I never transcribe Xany of it (for better or worse)
- My hand writing is pretty bad even though I’ve been wo-
rking on it these three months too. I’m not sure I’ll be ab-
le to read what I’ve written in a few months…. (for better
or worse)
So, what do you do? I feel like there is a gap. Blogging used
to be about both me AND you, a dialogue of some sort or at
least an agreement that someone else knew what I was doing.
I think that’s what I miss, the occasional social engagement.
At least miss the most. Takckling larger topics is good even
if they’re only of personal interest.
And, sitting here, I’m finding writing this about as engagXing
as writing by hand. I’m using Hanx Writer, which is an app
designXXed to mimic writing on a typewriter in sound and
function - I think I may even leave the X typXeovers if I
publish this…
Maybe there’s something to banging out jouranal entries on
this thing and not just writing on paper.
Then what do you do with the paper journal?
And how long until you lament lack of comments? You are an
attention whore after all!
-ABM
-Written in HanXWriter
Handwriting
I’m having some motivation and anger issues with improving my handwriting.
Adjacent possibilities
I like the concept of “adjacent possibilities.” The idea is to try things similar to things you already do. It’s sort of a more practical version if “follow your passion” because you’re still doing something now. It’s finding your passion.
Trying things, learning things, gathering ideas and guiding complexity gives you more ideas and more things to try until one day you have built your passion.
This can and should include your job even if you ultimately shed it to build your passion.
Daly’s in Milwaukee
New #fountain pen from Daly's #Pens in Milwaukee. Noodler Ahab flex and Edelstein Turmaline #ink.
New #fountain pen from Daly’s #Pens in Milwaukee. Noodler Ahab flex and Edelstein Turmaline #ink. (at Milwaukee Street Traders)
New Evidence
A question… ‘If someone indicates that they can do something that you do faster than you do, simpler than the way you do it or gets quantifiable better results than you’re getting, what is the very first part of your default response?’
If your answer didn’t include ‘Curious’, are you sure your answer is serving you?
That is where I eventually get. Curiosity and an emphatic desire to learn is the best quality in a person. I am, inherently, a student.
However - the first. I am a human and a perfectionist to boot. My first response, born from a lifetime of Do Betters and Not Enoughs and I Am Bads, is devastation that I hadn’t figured it out myself.
Because I have a generally low self opinion, this spirals down ward into the above self-effacement of anything previous considered good. Obviously, what I thought was good was only mediocre in light of new evidence.
The blinding light if new evidence has burned away and quality my previous product had.
However - the second. I am a curious person and know that I am me and am not you and drag behind me a host of other experiences in my baggage. That I arrived where I am is a wonder and now I have an opportunity to learn more and be and do better.
Because I understand the above about myself, I eventually come out if the emotional reaction and see past this new evidence. There are days where it just takes longer.
Emotions are powerful and it is impossible to stop that initial reaction. It is trained into us for years, heathy or otherwise. They, though, inherently illogical and possible to get through.
When you do… Well then, that is how we get better at anything.
I think I need a bigger box
This is one of my favorite sights.
BunnyRope.com