Slowly I feel like I’m getting a better hold of work. But I come home exhausted from all the Emergency Things we are dealing with. I have energy for maybe one other thing in a day right now like exercise or estate phone calls. But that’s it.
I feel like I should be able to do more because “I’m doing so little, you can’t be this tired.” Which is, of course, utter brain weasel bullshit. Stress at work, even now “background noise” stress that’s sort of in s chronic, elevated state but not like actively on fire is taxing. Then the constant, low-grade worry of estate accounting added to it.
Of course I’m tired.
Of course it’s reasonable to cut back on things.
It’s just not easy to internalize. I’m making little progress on 2016 goals. I’m not really writing, paper or otherwise. Still haven’t replenished stock from my last show. Blahhh.
I am, at least, opting more often to exercise as the one thing and that keeps my mental state stable if not happy.
And I do little things like make new wallpapers for my iPad.
The Veil Nebula